The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
