i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
