I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
