you win again, gameday.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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