Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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