drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
