loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
