Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My feet surprised me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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