She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
