we have pet lesbian snakes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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