i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
