1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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