Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This baby is an asshole
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
