I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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