You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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