Do you still have your period?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hippo gnu deer
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
