i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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