is your mom at the bar?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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