I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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