Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize