'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
