I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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