never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
