who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
