im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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