Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
