There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize