escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
