do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Shame is for Republicans.
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