Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
