Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
