I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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