My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
