Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
