do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
