I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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