youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The uberlube is also flammable
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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