Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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