you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
