D3 body, D1 cock
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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