Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
