Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize