You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
