we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There's always time for handjobs
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
