pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
