I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize