This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
