yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
