okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
