good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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