he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
