Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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