He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize