I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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