Her vagina should come with caution tape.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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