they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
