please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
