He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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