He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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