Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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