I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
