But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I will pee on everything he values.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
