Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
