I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
