Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
