I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
