I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
