sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
