with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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