I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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